Who to blame?

A poem about part of my process when it comes to some of my writing.

It comes over me.

This anger, this rage.

I subdue my urges.

I write it on a page.

It takes me now.

this sadness, this fear.

I turn inwards

and write what I hear.

I let out my anger

my sadness too.

I write my poems,

just for you.

I hear your pity

I see your fears

your condescension

It is clear.

How can he do it?

what does he feel?

I don't get it.

how is this real?

It must be a lie.

there is so much pain.

he never writes happy.

who is to blame?

Momma.

It shatters.

It breaks.

This world we know.

falls apart.

Things happen

no control.

I hate it.

Give me peace

Give me love.

I had those things

I need them now.

Come back

tell me its okay.

I miss you.

I listen

just silence.

I call out

no response.

I look back

all those times.

I see what I need

Take steps

take leaps.

She's there with me

making it alright.

I can figure this out

she can help me through it.

I can make it.

I relied so much

on everything you did.

I didn't see at all

the impact you had.

You are gone

I accept that now.

It hurts to admit it.

I'll be okay

you taught me well.

I see what I need

and I will go for it.

I won't hold back

I won't be afraid.

I love you momma. I'll be okay.




I wrote this some time after my mom passed away. I love her forever and always.

My first attempt at a song.

This is my first song I have ever written, it has no title yet.

I'll sit idly by

as everyone moves on

I'll let the world pass

all hope is gone.

I told you what I need

I asked for you to come

I needed your guidance

but you were already gone.

You ran away from here.

You never looked back.

You turned your back on me

It felt like a slap.

I miss you dearly

I want you here.

I dream so clearly

I'm full of fear.

Years have gone by,

I don't need you now.

you stumbled back

You looked broken down.

I turned away

and left you alone.

I felt sadness

but you're on your own.

I couldn't let you back

you'd broken me once.

I repaired the damage

that you had already done.

I missed you dearly

I wanted you here.

I dreamt so clearly

I have no fear.

I don't miss you now

I want you gone.

I see the future

and you're not the one.

The Dragon.

I see you standing there

what the fuck you gonna do?

Hate on me? Bitch please

I don't care about you.

Do your worst, I'm the best

you don't fucking know me.

I'm a fucking champion

What would make you believe?

I'm the shit, No emotions

Fucking Ginger Dragon

That's what they'll call me

as you be draggin'

Follow me, you won't succeed

I have no doubts now.

I'm the best mother fucker

that will lay you out.

It could be worse, atleast I did it

not some little bitch

Don't feel bad, I'm a dragon

you can't handle this shit.

Are you ready? here we go

I'll teach you how it's done.

Just kidding, its all mine

I've already won.


I wrote this one because I felt like it, and two because my friends actually call me the dragon.

An explanation.

     I started writing quite some time ago, I'm not sure exactly when, but at or around 9th grade of HS.  I'm 22 now, so as you can see it has been quite a few years, I think the only poem I still have from back then is Bitterness.  I lost my notebook.
     I've recently begun writing again. I don't only write depressing poems, So don't be quick to judge all at once. I have a variety of poems, some I've written about other people or events, some happy some sad.  Most of my early ones are sad, I was going through some stuff when I started writing.
     However, that doesn't mean everything has to be sad, I will be posting a new poem at least once a week, sometimes more often if I can wrangle up a couple more then just the one.

And to get you started off I will be posting a new poem later today.

Bitterness.

First poem of many I will post, one I wrote quite some time ago.

Shattering, falling, breaking down.
I can't get up
I've hit the ground.

Let me go, let me be
I want, I need.
I desire to be free.

Pleading, crying, screaming, silence.
Its quiet now
The end of violence.

Calming, soothing, relaxing, serene.
What I want, what I need.
Please oh please, let me be free.

Please oh please
Let me fall down, I want to shatter, hit the ground.

Please oh please
Stop this pain
I want out
Of this sick game.